Do you ever feel like you totally missed the class where life was teaching you everything you need to know about making relationships work? Does that also leave you feeling stuck in some unhealthy relationship patterns? The default strategies with which you learn to arm yourself often kick in without you even being aware you developed them… starting with the moment you feel that “crush” where feelings take hold, yet inevitably, time after time, crash and burn and leave you unable to move on with life.
Ironically, the behaviors you counted on to move you into a healthy, loving, and committed relationship wind up taking you in the opposite direction – left not with love but tremendous pain and fear that you are forever destined to be alone. I encourage you to look back upon the wreckage of your relationships, and agree it is time cleanse yourself of the old destructive patterns that have brought you here today; overwhelmed by insecurities and fear of relationships. Worst yet, you don’t even trust yourself, and you’re losing that dream of finding “the one.”
The following indicators of potentially unhealthy relationship patterns are intended to develop your awareness – how to recognize them and begin to let them go. Imagine breaking through these red flags, and stopping once and for all unhealthy love relationships. Yes, there’s change for you to have a love that is mutually trusting, committed, and EXTRAordinary!
Answer “YES” or “NO” to the following questions and reconnect with life’s lessons on having healthy, loving and committed relationships.
- Do you find yourself being attracted to partners who can’t seem to commit to you?
- Do you want the relationship more than your partner?
- Do you find that you put more effort into pleasing your partner?
- Is it hard for you to get thoughts of your partner out of your head?
- Are you finding it hard to trust your partner?
- Do you find you’re “checking up” on your partner?
- Do you try to manipulate or control your partner or does your partner do this to you?
- Do you or your partner get back at the other through “disguised anger” in which neither of you talks about real feelings of hurt, anger, and disappointment”
- Do you or your partner often hold in your feelings, only to explode over minor incidents?
- Do you or your partner disregard or minimize the other’s feelings and wishes?
- Are you or you partner becoming easily irritated and you fueling more arguments?
- Do your arguments center on not being prioritized?
- Do you look to your partner for self worth and identity?
- Do you focus on the past?
- Do you worry about your future with your partner?
- Are you overcritical of yourself, your partner and others around you?
- Do you or your partner blame each other for actions or undesirable results?
- You don’t feel your partner “has your back,” or isn’t there to support you.
- Are only a small number of your needs met?
- Do your close friends and family warn you about your partner?
- Have you become bored with your partner and have a lifeless relationship?
- You know you’re “settling.”
- Do you feel trapped?
- Are you finding it harder to trust your feelings?
- Do you or your partner press to eliminate or minimize the time away from friends and family?
- Are you afraid of your partner?
- Has you partner physically or emotionally abused you?
- Do you or your partner find yourselves raging when angry (yelling, losing emotional control)?
- Have your arguments resulted in physical violence?
- Do you or your partner follow rigid guidelines of what is the right behavior?
- You experience little physical affection.
- You experience little emotional closeness.
- Do you feel that you can’t be yourself around your partner?
- Your partner shows little respect for your thoughts and feelings.
- You have too much or too little sex.
I hope you found these thought provoking – and while your mind is focused on how these red flags might apply to you, as a special gift, I would like to invite you to join me in an Introductory Complimentary Consultation where you can ask me anything you like. We can also zero in on your goals and the ways you can achieve them.
Please call me at 480-391-1184 or email me your best times and dates so we can set up your complimentary appointment. I look forward to getting to know YOU!
Wishing you love, happiness, and success,
Mamiko
