Throughout our lives we have experiences in three distinctly different types of love and relationships, which I call YOU3™:
- Relationship with Ourselves
- Relationship with Others (family, friends, and co-workers)
- Relationship with Our Love Partner
ACT on Love™
The relationship with ourselves is the most sacred, serving as the foundation for how well we treat ourselves and others. If we are critical towards ourselves, we are also judgmental and harsh with others, especially those closest to us. The concept of ACT on Love™ encourages us to act now to show love to ourselves and others. By accepting and loving ourselves first, we enhance all other relationships and build immediate and lasting connections.
As a former psychologist, individual and couples therapist, and now as a love, relationship, and performance expert, I have worked with many of you who wanted to feel more secure about yourself and be more comfortable and enjoy deeper relationships with others, as well as knowing the skills to retain the passion and bliss of fresh loving relationships. By starting with yourself first to become your best version, you actually become irresistible in attracting individuals to you romantically, socially, professionally, and personally. Yes, we find ourselves being attracted to those whom we view as happy, confident, fun, warm, thoughtful, a good listener, able to sense and understand what we’re feeling and experiencing. These desirable qualities stem from feeling good about you, which is reflected in everything you do and say. Self-confidence equates to self-love, that warm, acceptance and nurturing you practice on yourself, leading you to heightened performance in your careers, in building relationships with others, and in the ways you show up in your roles and behaviors as an inspiring lover, partner, and parent.
Be the First
If you want someone to listen and understand your feelings, be the first one to listen, ask questions, and demonstrate that you hear the other’s emotions and the reasons behind them. If you want more love, be the first to show love in different ways such as compliments and recognition, by physical touching with hugs, holding hands, snuggling together, or massaging the back or feet. You create memorable experiences and a closer bonding when you use Conscious loving™ in your words and actions.
A friend of mine, Larry Benet, is known as the “Connector.” He encourages us to really tap into what a person is about-not just finding out one’s occupation, but what that person does for fun, and how he can help with another’s passions or success with current projects. Larry, like others, has learned the concept “give to get,” meaning whatever we want, give it to another first, and that gift of what we desire comes back to us.
One way to quickly connect is to have laughter and fun. Think of the best times you have experienced? What were you doing then? Many times it is engaging in fun, zany, lighthearted physical activities or it could be moments when you felt most loved and connected… and even thinking about those situations where you felt the most love will often bring a smile as you remember the closeness, affection, words and gestures. You can create these special moments now with anyone.
Many people have come to me because they wanted to have a smoother, closer relationship with a co-worker, teammate, friend, family, and of course a significant love partner. Even though the other party didn’t participate in coaching, relationships dramatically changed for the better, because the individual who became the best version of himself or herself, impacted all others and how others responded to them. When you are in a place of love where you fully accept and love yourself, you have the power to be a magnet for positive people and experiences.
Dr. Mamiko Odegard, a premier life coach and founder of ACT On Love™ is the author of Daily Affirmations for Love: 365 Days of Love in Thought and Action. She will quickly show you how to make changes in your life and your relationships through her customized 1:1 Individual and Couples Coaching, VIP Intensive Retreats and Concierge Programs. Start better connections now with all the people in your life, by calling 480-391-1184 for your personal consultation with Mamiko.